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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24453280">Nights of Red and Gold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umi_no_arawashi/pseuds/Umi_no_arawashi'>Umi_no_arawashi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anonymous Sex, Armitage Hux is a size queen, Bottom Armitage Hux, First Time, Kylo Ren is a fast learner, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sex Club, Size Kink, The Force probably helped a lot, Virgin Kylo Ren, half of this is sex and the rest is bickering, or bickering during sex, this won't end well</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:54:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,462</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24453280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umi_no_arawashi/pseuds/Umi_no_arawashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been perfect. It had been the best fuck of his life, all he’d ever wanted, just as he’d wanted it. He should just have let the stranger pull out, waited, then once he’d gathered his senses, picked himself up and left, groggy with satisfaction.</p><p>Instead, Hux made the biggest mistake of his life.</p><p>He looked.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>329</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, I've never posted anything in the Star Wars fandom even though I've written reams and reams of it, because there's already so much good stuff that I wasn't sure I could contribute. But this story popped back up this morning demanding to be shared, so here goes.  A little bit of Kylux just for fun.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo Ren let his feet guide him wherever they would go, while he thought - brooded, really - trying to make sense of this turmoil, of this frustration that had seeped into his very bones during those long months, insidiously infiltrating every particle of his being until nothing would calm it, not the most strenuous ascetic practice, the most demanding training, not even letting his rage run free and giving in to the need to destroy. To hurt. It was not enough. Nothing was enough. </p><p>Everything was grating on his nerves. And, in particular, if he was honest with himself, a certain general. It was beneath him, really, to let himself be so affected by a mere officer who had no inkling of the Force, no idea of the importance of his mission, the harshness of his training, the commitment it took. And still, after months of enduring endless days of boredom and bickering Hux’s cultured voice felt like sandpaper on an exposed nerve, and he would have done anything to avoid it.</p><p>It was why he’d decided to avail himself of shore leave, this time.</p><p>One thing was sure. If Hux had also decided to take advantage of this opportunity to stretch his legs, he was probably far away, in some scenic location, sipping a snifter of expensive Corellian brandy, or in some bastion of high culture, his usual sneer plastered to his face. Not wandering like him, feel lost and aimless.</p><p>He walked. Rain started falling, a soft misty drizzle, and still he walked through the streets, the crowds instinctively parting to let him through even though they had no idea who he was. He was so absorbed in himself that it took him a while to realise that he’d reached a new part of the town, somewhere he’d never been before, a strip of small, dark streets nestled behind the entertainment district, hidden like a dirty little secret. </p><p>This was the flip side of the elegant bars and jewelled theatres where one could enjoy the highest class of distractions, meet stunning courtesans in the most discreet brothels known to beings. This was sleaze, dark and seedy, cheap, vulgar, a caricature of a red-light district, with its bored-looking street-walkers of every species and gender leaning against the walls smoking their death-sticks, its garish neon on the wall, sputtering weakly in the rain in violent bursts of colour that did nothing to light the shadowy streets. Behind each door, if the signs were to be believed, a thousand temptations beckoned, every perversion imaginable catered for. People scurried around furtively, darting in and out of curtained entrances, faces turned down.</p><p>Oddly, it felt soothing to Kylo Ren, at that moment. It was a place that felt like it shouldn't really exist, a liminal space stuck in an interstice somehow. It felt ageless, as old as sex and desire, and yet, to him, it was new. This was a world he knew very little about, a world of needs and desires that still remained vaguely theoretical to him. He’d always felt he should stay away from physical pleasure in any form. That it would corrupt him somehow, make him soft, weak. Make him human, when he wanted to be so much more. But everyone else, in this place, was chasing pleasure. </p><p>He could feel it around him, tendrils of thought, feelings, echoes of other people’s bliss pulsing dully through the Force, washing over him. The Force felt warm and heavy, alive with sex, in all its forms, in its endless variety, and for once, he felt curious. There was a vague sort of primal hunger rising in him, a desire to join that feast, and yet it seemed unwise to do so. Dangerous in some essential way.</p><p>He shook his head to clear his thoughts, sending little droplets of water flying. He had no real reason to be wary. He was powerful, and there was nothing here that could pose any danger to him. He took a deep breath, let the Force flow through him, pull at him, take him where he needed to go. He walked slowly, letting his eyes fall almost closed, almost intoxicated by this new feeling he was getting from the Force, half in a trance.</p><p>“Hey! You! Big human! You coming in, or not coming in?” </p><p>A shrill voice cut through his reverie like a laser blast. Startled, he opened his eyes with a jolt. He was standing in the entrance of some sort of club-like establishment, a corridor leading to a heavy looking door. He could feel rather than hear a beat of music coming from the other side, low and pulsing. The shrill voice came from a diminutive, vaguely-female looking alien, with a pointy, snout-like nose, who was seated behind a desk, guarding the entrance. </p><p>She looked at him disapprovingly. “So, what you doing? You coming in or you not coming in? Either way, you not staying here. Too big. Blocking the way.”</p><p>“I’m coming in,” he heard himself say. “How much?”</p><p>She sniffed. “Twenty five credits. But... wait,” she said, as Kylo put the money down on the wooden counter. “You not trouble maker, no? You looking like trouble maker to me.” </p><p>Kylo shook his head slowly. </p><p>“Hmpf.” She peered at him suspiciously. “You obeying rules, yes? We having rules, here. Very strict.”</p><p>“Fine.” he said behind clenched teeth. “What rules?”</p><p>“You undress in next room. No clothes inside, just towel. Use locker. When inside, you do what you like, but…” She raised a finger in warning. “No choking, no blood. No need asking permission, but someone saying no, that mean no. Yes?”</p><p>“Yes,” he parroted back. He could feel a trickle of uncertainty within him, some small, scared part of him that was telling him he’d bitten off much more than he could chew here, begging him to turn back, to run away. He pushed it down angrily.</p><p>“Oh, and. You putting your thing in people, it’s being wrapped, all right?”</p><p>“What?” he asked, confused.</p><p>“Your thing,” she repeated very slowly, as though he were stupid, and pointed at his crotch. “You wear condom.”</p><p>“Oh. Yes.” He could feel his ears reddening in embarrassment. He turned away, hoping she hadn’t caught that, and pushed the door.</p><p>There was no one else in the locker room where he undressed, blood pounding in his ears despite his attempts to control his nerves. The room itself was very sparse, but clean, with a wall of small individual lockers for clothes, a bench to sit on and a pile of white towels. Signs on the wall repeated the instruction the small alien had given him at the door. According to the helpful drawings, he could wear a towel around his waist if he chose. He hesitated, then knotted one of the towels around his waist. He was fairly certain he knew what this place was about, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to walk in fully nude. There was something that felt almost incongruous about that, as though it would make him too vulnerable. As he put away his clothes, he felt uneasy again. Afraid, almost. It was ludicrous. He ignored it and walked into the next door.</p><p>The sound hit him first, like a wave, music so loud it drowned out every other sound, voice, moan, music with a hard, pulsating beat and no discerning melody. The room was dark, cavern-like, full of nooks and alcoves. Coloured lights, flashing in time with the music, painted the walls in violent shades of pink, red and purple. And everywhere people - no, men, he corrected himself, this was clearly a male-only establishment. Most of them were humans, with a few humanoid exceptions, one or two twi'leks, a togruta. And every single one seemed to be engaging in sex, fucking, sucking each other, standing and watching with their hands on their cocks, their hands a blur of motion. </p><p>The smell of sweat, and lube, and sex was everywhere as Kylo Ren walked slowly through the room, witnessing acts he’d only ever seen in the few pornographic holos he’d watched furtively as a teenager, before he’d decided it was beneath him. Seeing it in the flesh was decidedly different, rawer, confusing. Adding to the confusion was the haze of feelings and sensations that leaked through the Force into him, not all of them pleasant. Some were too raw, too strange, too intense, spiking through the general throb of desire and physical need.</p><p>His eyes stopped on the figure of a man, kneeling on all four on a raised platform, his back arched in a long, elegant curve. His white skin reflected the moving light, and for a second Kylo found himself hypnotized by the spare lean lines of his torso, lean muscles moving under his skin, pulled taught with every gasping breath. It was beautiful. Something about it drew him closer, made him want to look, to touch.</p><p>He was only dimly aware of another man there, thrusting with abandon between those long, trembling white thighs, faster and faster, his fingers digging into that pale ass carelessly. He only cared about the man being fucked, and what he could feel from him through the Force. His mind was a confused haze, as though he were heavily intoxicated with something, but he was pulsating with a need that mirrored Kylo’s own. The need to let go. The need to stop thinking, and let pure instinct drive him. The need to be broken down, reduced to pure elemental parts.</p><p>The man doing the fucking reached his climax with a grunt and pulled out, rolling the condom off his softening cock, patted the other man’s ass once or twice, and left. The white-skinned man settled down, face still hidden between his forearms, arching his back again, his ass in the air. Presenting himself, Kylo realised with a sudden jolt of shock and arousal. He was inviting someone else to fuck him. From what Kylo could feel, the previous tryst had left him unsatisfied, wanting more.</p><p>He didn’t seem to care who gave it to him. It could be anyone. In this position, he wouldn’t even see whoever it was. And of course, that was the point.</p><p>Kylo felt himself move closer, close enough to touch, as though drawn by a thread. He could see everything. The man’s pale skin, peppered with freckles between his shoulder blades, emphasising the paleness of his skin. His cock, half-hard, hanging heavily between his legs, surrounded by curls of short ginger hair. The pucker of his hole, pink and glistening with lube, the rim puffy with use, gaping slightly from being used so recently, inviting, soft looking, almost entirely hairless. Kylo’s hand moved without thought, and he swiped his thumb over it, feeling the ridges of skin, silk-soft, slick. Slowly, he let his large thumb circle around it, dip into the fluttering hole, feeling it tighten deliciously around him. It was warm, alive, unlike any he’d ever felt in his life. Utterly different from touching his own flesh. He felt a kind of wonder at how his body was responding, his own cock growing between his legs. It would be so easy to just grab one of the condoms in the bowl next to him, roll it over himself, and see how it felt to thrust inside that pretty pink hole. That was all the man was waiting for, after all. And he wanted it, now, he craved it, all his instincts telling him it was the right thing to do. Still, he hesitated, letting his fingers drag themselves in and out of the delightfully soft hole, trying to imagine how it would feel on his cock.</p><p>A spike of impatience pierced through the fog of the white-skinned man’s mind, and Kylo frowned, startled. That had been oddly familiar. But of course it wasn’t, it couldn’t be. It must have been a product of his imagination, of this obsessive frustration he was developing for his fellow commanding officer. Because there was not a chance in all the hells that…</p><p>And then the man spoke.</p><p>“Get a bloody move on, will you?” he said, between clenched teeth, and Kylo would have known that voice, that <em>tone</em> anywhere.</p><p>He knew, with utter certainty. </p><p>This was Hux. </p><p>This was Hux, asking him to fuck him.</p>
<hr/><p>Hux grinded his teeth in frustration. Why did he have to be surrounded by kriffing idiots, no matter where he went? Surely this wasn’t complicated. You didn’t go to a place like this for tea and polite conversation. And when you encountered someone face down, ass in the air, face buried in their arms, it wasn’t an invitation to get to know each other. It was as simple as it could possibly be. Get your hard cock in me, fuck me, use me, then fuck off. And yet that simple concept seemed beyond the comprehension of whatever dim-witted moron was currently behind him. What the fuck was he trying to do, some sort of clumsy attempt at foreplay?</p><p>One thing, though, was stopping Hux from telling the idiot to go fuck himself. The man's fingers, playing with his hole in the most infuriating manner, felt huge on his skin. Massive. </p><p>And that was definitely one of Hux’s turn-ons. If he was honest to himself, he was a bit of a size queen, when it came down to it. Not that he felt in any mood to be picky tonight.</p><p>So because there was something he liked about those hands on him, he didn’t push him off. He just indicated, with a few polite words, that he would appreciate him getting to the point, so to speak.</p><p>It seemed to work, because the man stopped with his damnable teasing. There was a pause, as though he was hesitating - <em>come on, pal, this isn’t complicated, take it or leave it</em>, thought Hux impatiently - and then the sound of a condom wrapper being opened. </p><p>So Mister Large-hands had finally managed to connect two neurons together and reach a decision. Good for him, Hux clapped mentally. And then those hands were gripping his hips, none too gently, just the way he liked it, and the head of Mister Large-hands's cock was brushing against Hux’s entrance, pushing against it, and then forced itself inside, and Hux’s eyes flew open against his arm.</p><p>Because, <em>oh fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuck</em>, Mister Large-hands was apparently Mister Large-everywhere. Huge, in fact. Easily the biggest cock Hux had ever taken, so thick it was almost painful, despite the fact he’d been fucked open pretty thoroughly earlier in the night and he was drugged half-out of his mind on relaxants. He pushed his ass up to ease the stretch, to let that magnificent, glorious cock in as deep as it would go. And it just kept going, as long as it was thick, splitting him open, deeper than he’d ever been fucked, filling him like nothing had ever filled him before.</p><p>Hux moaned loudly in appreciation, sounding like a whore, no doubt, but who gave a fuck, that was the whole point of coming here, to let himself go completely after months of nothing but his hand and his toys on the Finalizer. He felt his own cock harden, already dripping, and suddenly the idea crossed his mind that if he was ever going to come untouched, just from being fucked, surely it would be from this absolute wonder of a cock.</p><p>As if hearing his thoughts, Mister Large pulled back, slowly, and the drag against Hux’s insides was so delicious it burned. Then he slammed back in, miraculously at exactly the right angle to absolutely crush that sweet spot inside Hux. And then, unerringly, he did it again. And again. And again.</p><p><em>If only my stormtroopers could aim this well</em>, Hux thought confusedly, <em>I would be ruling the galaxy right now.</em></p><p>It went on, relentlessly, thrust after thrust after thrust, until Hux was utterly undone, mewling like a cat in heat, open-mouthed and drooling over his own arms and not even caring about it, his eyes tightly shut. And then, just as he thought it couldn’t possibly get any better, one of those huge hands reached down and grabbed him by the hair, forcing him to arch up until his back ached with the stretch, forcing him even deeper onto that miracle of a cock, and pleasure exploded inside him, white-hot and searing, and he came in a seemingly never ending series of spasms,  spurting helplessly all over the floor and his own stomach.</p><p>The rest was a blur. He felt one hand between his shoulder blades pushing him down and the other, around his hip, holding him firmly in place while the man behind him fucked him harder and harder, his flesh slapping against Hux’s with a meaty sound, until Hux felt his cock spasm inside him as he came. And for the first time in his life, Hux, who’d always been very fastidious about bodily fluids, wished the stranger wasn’t wearing a condom, that he was filling him with his come, breeding him, marking him.</p><p>It had been perfect. It had been the best fuck of his life, all he’d ever wanted, just as he’d wanted it. He should have left it as that. The whole point of this was in not even looking at the person involved, after all, never seeing their faces, just letting them fuck him and leave. He should just have let the stranger pull out, waited, then once he’d gathered his senses, picked himself up and left, groggy with satisfaction.</p><p>Instead, he made the biggest mistake of his life.</p><p>He looked.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo Ren took one look into Hux’s shocked green eyes and fled.</p><p>Left. He didn’t flee, he <em>left</em>, that’s what he told himself. He’d done what he wanted to do. Got what he wanted. He had no reason to stay. He wasn’t running away, he was leaving.</p><p>Why would he run away? Because the man he just fucked turned out to be his exasperating co- Commander? And so what? Hux had wanted it. Hux had been asking for it. </p><p>Yes clearly, he wanted it anonymous, but it wasn’t his fault he’d recognised the general. The Force had made that unavoidable. What was he supposed to do then, introduce himself?</p><p>
  <em>Sorry, just thought you’d want to know, actually, that we know each other - I’m Kylo Ren, you know, the person you never listen to and try to undermine at every turn. And it turns out your ass is a lot sexier than I thought it would be, so do you mind if I go ahead and fuck you?</em>
</p><p>Ridiculous. He’d acted in a perfectly justifiable manner. He’d wanted something, and taken it. And then, just as justifiably, he left.</p><p>And yet, he felt a strange sort of shame at the thought, as though what he’d done was wrong. It was absurd. But Hux’s shocked green eyes kept flashing back into his mind. </p><p>It wasn’t the only thing that kept flashing back to him. The feeling of Hux’s skin. The tightness of his body. The eagerness with which he’d taken him in, his insides clenching around Kylo’s cock spasmodically, as though it were too much, as though he wanted more. He’d let Hux’s body guide him as he moved, telling him what to do, what angle to hit, feeling Hux’s pleasure through the Force just as clearly as the fire coursing through him.</p><p>It had been new, and unexpectedly powerful. He kept coming back to that one moment, Hux coming on his cock, the feeling of shock and surprise at the strength of it and Hux clenching down on him hard, trembling, mouth open in a soundless scream, even better than the needy, appealing sounds he’d been making before.</p><p>He clenched his fists as he made his way out of the club and into the streets. He didn’t need to feel ashamed about this. It wasn’t weak of him to have been affected. Sex was a powerful emotion. He wasn’t forbidden from it. This was an experience he could learn from and use.</p><p>And if Hux was unhappy about it, that was his problem. He shouldn’t have been naked offering his ass to anyone if he didn’t want to be taken up on his offer.</p><p>Slowly, the confusing jumble of emotions warring inside him quieted down into calm. Determination. Focus. All was well.</p><p>All he needed to do now was to get back on the Finalizer. The Officers’ shuttle would make one round trip every hour all night, so it was a simple matter of reaching the landing pad.</p><p>Perhaps, though, not just now. Even though his conscience was perfectly clear, he somehow didn’t feel like spending the flight back staring into Hux’s eyes. He imagined after what had just happened the general would want to get off planet as soon as possible - although really, he had no cause to be angry, when you thought about it.</p><p>So instead of going back, he walked for a few hours. The rain had mostly stopped. He didn’t care where he went. He kept replaying the events of the night in his mind. Small details kept coming back to him, like the drop of sweat that had been dripping down Hux’s spine that he’d wanted to taste for some reason, or the surprising softness of his hair in his hand. The slap of his balls against Hux’s ass, the sound it made, the sight of his shaft being swallowed by Hux’s tight hole, his shameless moans of pleasure…</p><p>He stopped. He wasn’t far from the landing pad, but he was suddenly very hard in his pants, hard enough to make it difficult to walk. He could probably make himself soft again with an effort of will, but there was this need, gnawing at his belly, and it was so much easier to slip into an alleyway, send out a weak Force injonction to keep anyone from seeing what he was up to, and take himself in hand. He stroked his cock frantically, with no finesse, just need. His hand felt like a poor substitute for Hux’s tight ass, rough and unsatisfying, but it did the job. In less than a minute, he was climaxing, spilling his seed carelessly on the wall in front of him, to the thought of Hux coming under him helplessly.</p><p>Perhaps not the most dignified thing he’d done recently. But nonetheless, he told himself, a reasonable solution to a pressing problem.</p>
<hr/><p>He walked towards the shuttle with power and purpose, the heels of his boots sounding satisfyingly loud on the polished floor. There was a group of bridge officers waiting, but they, very wisely, stepped off to the side when they saw him, anxious not to be in his way. </p><p>A stormtrooper came up to him and saluted smartly. “The shuttle will be ready for boarding in five minutes, my Lord,” he said behind his helmet. Kylo Ren didn’t even acknowledge him, just stood, his eyes fixed and imperious.</p><p>Voices, and footsteps, coming up the passerelle. Another group of officers, clearly. He didn’t move, or deign to move his head.</p><p>“Lord Ren?” </p><p>Phasma. At least she was vaguely bearable. He turned his head to acknowledge her, and froze. She wasn’t alone. Next to her stood lieutenant Mitaka, chief petty officer Unamo, and of kriffing course, general Hux.</p><p>General Hux, who was impeccably dressed, his hair gelled back to its usual perfection, a sneer on his well-formed mouth.</p><p>“I didn’t know you were on planet, lord Ren,” said Hux, raising a supercilious eyebrow, and Kylo almost choked.</p><p>“If we’d known, we would have invited you to join us,” said Phasma. “We were just having a very nice drink at this bar I know.”</p><p>“I don’t drink,” said Kylo.</p><p>“Of course not. Lord Ren is quite above such petty human distractions, isn’t he?” said Hux in the sarcastic tone that made Kylo want to strangle him. “I’m sure he was busy with some important mystical business far beyond our feeble unenlightened minds.”</p><p>Kylo glared and tried to think of a suitable comeback when the stormtrooper came back to tell them the shuttle was ready.</p><p>They filed into the passenger compartment, seating themselves, naturally, according to rank. Which left him sitting exactly where he hadn’t wanted to be, directly opposite Hux. </p><p>Mitaka and Phasma were chatting in animated tones, sounding more than a little inebriated. Hux joined in lazily now and then, his tone relaxed, making dry jokes that made the others laugh. He sounded perfectly at ease, as though he’d spent the entire night socialising in the most elegant settings and not trawling for anonymous sex in the underbelly of the city. It was infuriating. Kylo gritted his teeth in anger.</p><p>Hux must have caught on to his mood somehow, because he glanced at him with a smirk, eyes shining. How dare he look at him like that, utterly unabashed, without a hint of embarrassment, when his very presence was making Kylo’s skin tingle with the memory of his touch?</p><p>He reached out with the Force to feel his mind, and found a wall. Hux’s thoughts were carefully guarded, hidden. Of course, it would only take him a second to pierce through such weak defences, but Hux would notice. Hux would know he’d cared enough to look.</p><p>Kylo sighed, and crossed his arms, and willed the shuttle to go faster so he could be free of this.</p>
<hr/><p>The following day, Hux was happy to note that he had only the barest hint of a headache, despite the frankly imprudent amount of drinking he’d done with Phasma the night before. He was usually more careful than that, but he’d needed to unwind, and the bar Phasma had invited him to had the sweetest, most colourful cocktails he’d seen in a while, and he’d needed a distraction from the rage in his heart and the ache in his ass.</p><p>Fucking Ren. It was unbelievable. There he’d been, fucked out, blissful, happy, for five fucking seconds, and he’d turned around and it was Kylo kriffing Ren.</p><p>Of everyone in the galaxy, Kylo kriffing Ren. Standing there like an idiot, with his stupidly big hands and his stupidly big cock, sweaty black hair flopping onto his face, looking like he’d just had some kind of religious epiphany or something.</p><p>And then the ridiculous man had just… left. Turned around and left, like the stupid sulking child he was, leaving Hux sputtering with rage.</p><p>It was maddening. The logical explanation, of course, was that this was some sort of power play, an animalistic way of asserting dominance on Ren’s part. Me strong, me fuck you in the ass, you obey now, this kind of thing. But then, one would have expected Ren to gloat and rub it in. Not look at Hux with something like shame and panic before running away, bare-assed, his tail between his legs.</p><p>So yes, when he’d picked up his datapad after a nice, thorough scrub-down in the shower (Ren! his skin had been <em>crawling</em>) and he’d seen a message from Phasma inviting him to join her and Mitaka for some drinks, he’d been happy to go. Drinks with silly names and umbrellas in them were exactly what he’d needed. And yes, he probably should have stopped before the last couple of drinks, but he had an excuse.</p><p>That fucking idiot.</p><p>Chatting with Phasma had cheered him up immensely, as did Mitaka’s entirely predictable shy, clumsy attempts at flirting once he reached his third or fourth drink. It had been nice and familiar and it had almost put the whole mess out of his mind.</p><p>Until they reached the shuttle. Because of course, despite the fact there were dozens of shuttles that night, Ren had somehow managed to be in his, looking ridiculous in that grotesque cape of his, a brooding air on his face that made him look like a petulant adolescent. He had barely said a single word. He’d avoided Hux’s eyes. He’d pouted and scowled in the shuttle like the world’s biggest four year old in the middle of a sulk. </p><p>Absurd and ridiculous.</p><p>And yet Hux’s thoughts had kept slipping back to their earlier tryst. His eyes kept being drawn to those huge hands, those long, wide fingers, and his traitorous brain kept reminding him of how they’d felt, rough and calloused, and naturally that brought to mind other parts of Ren’s anatomy. Parts he’d never even had the remotest curiosity about. Parts he hadn’t even thought of in conjunction with Ren, to be honest.</p><p>And he’d had to be very careful, especially in his inebriated state, because he knew what Ren was like. If you thought anything too “loud”, somehow, he’d pick up on it with his magic powers, like the galaxy’s most annoying radio receiver. But all those years of dealing with Ren hadn’t been in vain. He knew how to keep his thoughts to himself - until Ren decided to forget all decency and ransack his brain by force, that was. But at least he’d know it if Ren did that.</p><p>So he kept his thoughts close to himself and joked with Phasma and poor, flustered Mitaka, who was trying and failing to ask Hux back to his quarters for a last drink (as if that was ever going to happen, but drunk Mitaka was nothing if not persistent.)</p><p>All in all, he’d pulled it off perfectly. And if before falling asleep he’d fucked himself on his favourite dildo to the thought of Ren’s monster cock and his dark, angry eyes, well, that was his own business and no one needed to know anything about it.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Holy hell, people, thank you for the unbelievable response for this story! I didn’t really expect this. I’m extremely touched you’re enjoying my two idiots and their ass-backwards way of going about it.</p><p>Oh, and if you feel like leaving any kind of comment, even if it’s just to chat, rant about the characters in general, or say hi, please do. I love talking to people in the comments (I don’t do social media really, so this is my only place to chat about fandom stuff.) No comment is too inane, believe me, I’ll be glad to be silly with you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kylo Ren stepped onto the bridge and the officers saluted.</p><p>Well, apart from Hux. Hux just sneered at him.</p><p>“How nice of you to join us,” he said, as though he was a teacher scolding a disobedient child. “You do remember we have a briefing in ten minutes, don’t you?”</p><p>Kylo clenched his fists and scowled behind his mask. Of course he remembered. What the fuck did the prick think he was here for? Sightseeing? Fucking Hux. He bit his tongue, saying nothing, standing in the middle of the bridge in what he hoped came off as a menacing pause. </p><p>Hux ignored him. He was making his rounds on the bridge, checking in with his officers one by one before their briefing, asking questions in quick, precise tones, listening to their answers intently. Someone showed him something on a screen, and he bent to look closer, and how come Kylo Ren had never noticed before how revealing the perfectly tailored trousers of the general were in certain positions? It was indecent, really, the way it emphasised pert, firm curves that immediately made him think of the long, lean thighs and plush ass that hid underneath. It had been so soft and round under his hand...</p><p>He shook himself mentally. Now was not the time. In fact, there was no need for any of this. He’d had this one experience and came out stronger and more knowledgeable. There was
no need to keep dwelling on it. He concentrated on some breathing exercises designed for meditation and let calm wash over him.</p><p>He managed to keep himself distracted until the meeting started. But then - all hell broke loose. Hux decided to come for him, all guns blazing, the second all the officers were seated around the table.</p><p>“So, do tell us,” he said, leaning back on his chair, his fingers steepled together. “What essential resources do we need to divert on your little errands this week, lord Ren?</p><p>Kylo took the bait. “My little errands, as you call them, General, are direct orders from the Supreme Leader, and of crucial importance to the Order.”</p><p>“No doubt, lord Ren, no doubt. Yet the costs in men and equipment keep piling up, and we on the Finalizer have seen very little return on that investment, have we?”</p><p>“What I do and my results are no business of yours or anyone on the Finalizer, Hux,” replied Kylo, the vocoder in his mask doing a great job of hiding his anger. “I answer to the Supreme Leader, not to you.”</p><p>“Of course. Yet I’m the one having to budget for your escapades. And with the costs on Starkiller mounting up, I would appreciate having a little more oversight. For planning purposes.”</p><p>“Do you think I care about your budget, general?” asked Kylo angrily.</p><p>“Do you believe your shuttle runs on magic, Ren?” Hux countered immediately.</p><p>“The Force is not <em>magic</em>, Hux!” yelled Kylo into his helmet, smashing his fist into the table. There was a sinister cracking sound. Several of the older officers winced. Mitaka had turned quite pale.</p><p>“Then, of course, there is the question of the wear and tear on the equipment,” said Hux, his voice infuriatingly calm. “This table, for example, was replaced last quarter. I trust we’ll all do our best to make it last at least one standard year, this time, shall we?”</p><p>Kylo settled back in his chair and glared at Hux, who had launched into an exhaustive review of various damages to the ship he imputed to him. Glaring was futile, of course, with his mask on. And it didn’t work on Hux at the best of times.</p><p>But how he wanted to get back at the man. Yes, he knew he couldn’t give free rein to his anger and crush him to a pulp. It would be stupid and counterproductive, as Snoke had repeated many times. Hux was useful, clever and efficient, and he had his crew in the palm of his hand. Any direct attack on the man would lead to chaos. But oh, how Kylo Ren <em>wished</em>.</p><p>That was when an idea struck him. Something else might work. Something more subtle. It would definitely make him feel better. It could even, possibly, shut the man up, which would be a blessing. He concentrated, trying to get the image perfect in his mind.</p><p>It would be from his point of view. That was easier, allowing for a direct use of memory, and he used the Force to access every last last bit of it until each detail was crystal-clear, rich in texture and feeling. Piece by piece, he assembled the scene.</p><p>His hands on Hux’s ass, two shades darker than his pale skin, the thumb of his right just touching a small cluster of freckles. The texture of Hux’s skin, smooth and warm, yielding under his fingers, just enough fat on his lean frame to flesh out his curves. The long line of his back, spread out in front of him, the hollow of his spine shiny with sweat. The shocking orange of his hair, more messy than he’d ever seen it, curling at the nape of his neck. </p><p>The feeling as he drove himself again and again inside Hux, how he felt him flutter and clench around him with every movement.</p><p>And then, once the memory was as strong and as vivid as it could possibly be, Kylo projected the image towards Hux, flinging it violently with all his contained rage.</p>
<hr/><p>Hux didn’t even need to read the datapad, that was the beauty of it. He knew these facts off by heart. And it was a pleasure to list them, one by one, proof after proof of Ren’s uselessness. He had only just started.</p><p>“TIE Fighter launch bay Krenth-2, unauthorised TIE fighter departure, leading to damage to fuel line 45-731b and damage to bay shield. The subsequent depressurisation resulted in 9 specialised technicians requiring a total of 34 days of sick leave, for a total cost of…”</p><p>His voice faltered suddenly. He sat back in his chair with a cough, holding his hand to his mouth to hide a blush.</p><p>“Are you alright, general?” asked Mitaka, ever solicitous.</p><p>“Yes. Quite. Just a bit of a cough, I’m afraid.” </p><p>Inside, Hux was reeling. Fuck that goddamed <em>man-child</em> of a Sith, or whatever he was supposed to be - Hux never paid any attention to that nonsense. But this… this was a low blow. The bastard. He coughed once more, for believability. “Anyway. I made my point. I don’t need to go on, I believe,” he said, his tone remarkably even in the circumstances.</p><p>“Indeed, general,” said Ren, and the idiot sounded like he was gloating. “The picture was <em>crystal-clear</em>.”</p><p><em>Oh, hahaha, very funny, Ren.</em> Crystal-clear indeed. It was true it had looked utterly real in his mind, not at all like an image or a holo but as though he was really there, in Ren’s head, watching - no, feeling, that was the worst part - himself get fucked.</p><p>Even more humiliating, Ren’s little revenge prank, or whatever it was, had worked. Hux had completely lost his train of thought. He gestured weakly towards Mitaka. “Lieutenant, if you could proceed with your report on our ship’s capabilities, please?”</p><p>Mitaka shot him a slightly worried look and then started on his own report, pages upon pages of diagnostics results and test reports. It would take a while. The Finalizer was a big ship, and lieutenant Mitaka was a very thorough man. Hux would have the time to compose himself.</p><p>He fixed his gaze lightly on Mitaka, as though fascinated by what he was saying. He let the sea of numbers wash over him. He already knew most of it, anyway.</p><p>His heartbeat was slowing back down after the sudden rush of adrenaline. He’d dealt with the crisis without too much damage. He’d survived. Now came the important part.</p><p>Revenge.</p><p>Carefully, he sifted through his memories, trying to find the most suitable one. It was tricky, doing this without alerting Ren, without thinking too loudly or however you wanted to put it.</p><p>But he knew what he wanted. A real memory, not a fantasy, because it probably wouldn’t feel authentic. A lot of the power of the scene Ren had sent to him had been in the truth of it, an undefinable lived-in quality that made it incredibly vivid. He needed something like that.</p><p>But he also knew, very clearly, what he wanted to show Ren. He wanted to show him that he meant nothing. That if he thought he’d gained any kind of ascendancy over Hux by fucking him against his knowledge, then he was sorely mistaken. Hux didn’t care who he fucked. In fact, Hux didn’t even care whether he found the man attractive or not, as long as he had a decent enough cock. </p><p>Suddenly, he found the perfect memory. An encounter a few months back, on some sleazy backwater of a planet. He’d given himself just a couple of hours to relax, and he’d ended up behind some dirty building, on his knees, giving a blow-job to this absolutely filthy ugly lowlife, his own hand in his pants working to bring himself off. It had been surprisingly satisfying. And, more importantly, it was perfect. Exactly what he was looking for. Proof that the fact Ren fucked him meant exactly nothing, just as that nameless scum on some planet whose name he’d already forgotten had meant nothing.</p><p>Now that he had the memory, he concentrated. He couldn’t do what Ren had done, force this thought into his brain, but he knew Ren. If he thought loudly enough, he <em>would</em> snoop. Hux’s eyes were still on poor, dear Mitaka, his face carefully neutral, but now his mind was screaming, as loud as possible, repeating that moment, adding details upon details. </p><p>He’d been looking for something dirty, that day, so much so that he hadn’t insisted on a condom the way he usually did. That had made it feel so much rawer, so much realer, even though it had required a battery of tests once he was back on board to reassure himself he hadn’t caught some disease from that filthy man. But the taste of sweat on the man’s skin, pungent but not unpleasant, the bitter taste of his come in his mouth, the way he’d forced his filthy fingers between Hux’s lips to play with the come on Hux’s tongue, that had been worth it...</p><p>There was a crash, Ren’s chair falling to the ground as he stood up and strode for the door angrily. </p><p>Hux cheered mentally, congratulating himself. Mitaka stopped abruptly in the middle of his sentence, looking unsure what to do.</p><p>“Do continue, lieutenant,” said Hux, waving him on. “Lord Ren probably has more important things to do with his time. We’re listening.”</p>
<hr/><p>The rest of the meeting went well. Extremely well, in fact. Any time Hux felt bored, all he had to do was replay that delicious moment, Ren storming out like the absolute child that he was, and that cheered him up. It worked a little too well, in fact, and he realised he was uncharacteristically smiling, which wouldn’t do. No one in their right mind would smile at Mitaka’s thorough exposé of the fire capacity of every single one of the Finalizer’s turbolaser arrays. It probably made him look slightly deranged.</p><p>He tried his best to school his features into a neutral expression, but it didn’t change his feelings. He felt positively gleeful. And, wonder of wonders, he’d managed to get rid of Ren.</p><p>Once the briefing wrapped up, he took a small detour to the officer’s head before returning to the bridge. He’d just finished zipping up when he felt <em>something</em> behind him. He turned around, with a feeling of inevitability, and of course it was Ren.</p><p>Ren, looking awkward, his ridiculous helmet under his arm, hair in utter disarray, wild-eyed and somehow vaguely sticky-looking.</p><p>“Yes?” asked Hux in the tones of a man reaching his last thread of patience, moving to the sink to wash his hands. “What can I do for you, Lord Ren?”</p><p>“I want to do that,” said the cretin, his deep, rumbling voice trembling with need. “With you.”</p><p>“Do what?” Hux frowned. What was he talking about? It certainly hoped it wasn’t… He looked around. The bathroom was empty, apart from the two of them. Good. You couldn’t trust Ren not to say something stupid in front of witnesses, and Hux didn’t need that.</p><p>“What you did,” said Ren. It was unfair, really, that such an imbecile should be blessed not only with the cock of a god but one of the sexiest, most masculine voices Hux had ever heard. “With that man. In your thoughts.”</p><p>Hux laughed out loud at the sheer audacity. “Oh, really? You want me to get down on my knees and suck you off? Not kriffing likely, Ren.”</p><p>“No,” he said, his stupid expressive eyes large with sincerity. “I want to do it to you.”</p><p>Hux choked. “What?” he asked, like an idiot. He hadn’t been expecting that.</p><p>“What <em>you</em> did. On your knees.” Holy kriffing hell, the imbecile was blushing. It was utterly unbecoming. His over-large ears were practically scarlet. He was looking at his feet awkwardly, his free hand clenched tightly to his side.</p><p>Hux’s first instinct was to say no, of course. This was stupid, and there was the possibility - somehow - that it was a trick of some sort. </p><p>It didn’t feel likely, though. And his brain, which seemed to delight in betraying him, these days, helpfully supplied him with a mental image of that great big idiot on his knees, his full, plush lips wrapped around his cock, looking up at him with those liquid brown eyes.</p><p>Would he stroke that monster between his legs while he was sucking him? Probably. The man had no self-control. But he’d better be discreet about it, or Hux wouldn’t let him. After all, this was going to be about him. His pleasure. His cock, fucking that annoying mouth, with its incongruous prettiness. And then, would he let Ren come? Maybe. But, he told himself with something like glee, if the big oaf let so much as a drop of semen fall to the ground, or worse, on his boots (in his mind, in what was fast becoming a full-fledged fantasy, he was in full uniform and Ren was naked, that muscular body he’d only got a glance of at the club kneeling passively at his feet,) Hux was going to make him clean it up. With his <em>tongue</em>.</p><p>That made up his mind. “Fine. Just that, then,” he said, business-like. “2300, my quarters.”</p><p>Ren looked at him with a pleading look in his eyes, like a child being refused a treat. “We can’t do it now?” he asked.</p><p>Hux scoffed. “Certainly not. I have work to do. Tonight, take it or leave it. And please try not to alert the entire floor to your presence.”</p><p>“I won’t be seen,” said Ren, shaking his head.</p><p>“Good. I’ll see you then.” He nodded once and walked off, not waiting for Ren to respond. There was a strange feeling in his chest, a kind of excitement at the thought. Anticipation, almost as though he were looking forward to it.</p><p>And that was preposterous. He couldn’t care less whether Ren showed up or not. A blow job wasn’t anything special. Especially with that idiot.</p><p>Still, when he walked back onto the deck, there was a certain spring in his step, and the corners of his mouth were, if not up, at least not fixed in as deep a scowl as they usually were.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ren turned up at exactly 2257. </p><p>Not that Hux was watching the time, of course. He’d had a nice, leisurely shower, dressed himself in comfortable clothes, and was contentedly nursing a glass of whiskey while going over some reports from Starkiller, where everything seemed to be going smoothly for once.</p><p>It was just luck that he’d happened to look at the time at this exact moment. In fact, he’d almost forgotten about the whole thing. Almost. If he’d cleaned certain parts of his anatomy more thoroughly than he might have done on another night, well, that was just… a precaution. He didn’t intend to let things get any further than planned with Ren. He just liked to be prepared.</p><p>He unlocked his door with a brief flick of his finger on the lock pad. The door wooshed open, and on the other side, of course, was Ren. He was wearing some sort of ridiculous high-waisted pants and a sleeveless training shirt, and he looked disheveled and sweaty and like a complete imbecile. Typical Ren, in other words.</p><p>“Get in,” said Hux curtly, and he closed the door behind him with a quick glance into the corridor to make sure no one else was there.</p><p>“No one saw me. I made sure of that,” rumbled Ren.</p><p>“I wouldn’t care if they did,” said Hux. It wasn’t technically true. In theory, yes, he wasn’t ashamed of his sexual proclivities. He liked what he liked, and there was nothing wrong with that. But in real life, he liked to compartmentalise. He didn’t need his men discussing his private life, or what he liked to do in bed, or any other personal detail about him, in fact. That was why he’d made it a rule never to sleep with anyone on board the Finalizer. Or any of his subordinates. Or anyone whose name he knew or who knew his name.</p><p>Tonight would be the first time he’d broken that rule since his academy days, but well. If you wanted to be technical about it, Ren had broken the rule, not him, so it didn’t really count.</p><p>“So can we do it, now?” blurted the idiot.</p><p>Hux sighed to himself. He hadn’t been expecting to be courted, naturally, and anyway he liked his partners to go straight to the point, but the sheer clumsiness of Ren was exhausting. “Yes, obviously. Why else would you be there?”</p><p>Ren ran his hands through his hair, somehow managing to mess it up even further. He was looking… well, nervous, if Hux was honest. He was looking at his feet, and his mouth looked like it had been chewed on all day. “So what do I do?” he said.</p><p>“What do you mean, what do you do?” sputtered Hux. “You’re the one who wanted to come here and give me a blow-job. You… get on with it, and then you leave. I don't see what’s so complicated about it.”</p><p>Ren looked at him then, eyes full of feeling and need and something like a heart-stopping vulnerability Hux had never seen there before. “I don’t know how,” he said.</p><p>Hux coughed, and picked up his glass of whiskey to give himself a countenance. The stupid thing was empty. “I see,” he said. That, he hadn’t been expecting. Especially given the skill Ren had demonstrated in their earlier encounter. “So what, you fuck men, but you don’t suck them off, is that it?” </p><p>One of those, perhaps. Those men who seemed to think that anything other than sticking their dick into another person somehow impugned their fragile masculinity. Well, Hux was certainly not there to serve as some kind of remedial sex education for idiots. He wasn’t going to subject himself to Ren’s inexpert ministrations just because he’d suddenly decided that he wanted to try something new.</p><p>“I’d never fucked anyone, before you,” said Ren, his voice low and deep, and Hux spilled the whiskey he was trying to pour into his glass onto the table.</p><p>“What?” </p><p>He couldn’t possibly have heard him correctly. That made no sense.</p><p>“Never,” Ren insisted, taking one step towards Hux. “You were the first. I didn’t even know I wanted to, before.”</p><p>Hux put the bottle down carefully, away from the puddle of very expensive alcohol he’d managed to create on the table. He pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers and sighed deeply. “In that case, what, may I ask, were you doing in a sex club?” he asked wearily. Then a sudden suspicion struck him. “Were you following me, is that it?”</p><p>“No. I didn’t know you were there. But... I was following something,” said Ren, and he was sounding terribly earnest. “A feeling in the Force.”</p><p>“A feeling in the Force? Oh, for fuck’s sake, Ren, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”</p><p>Ren recoiled slightly, as if hurt. “It’s true. I don’t know what it is, but… it must mean something.  The way I react to you. I’ve meditated upon it. And…” He clenched his fist. “I want you. I want you more than anything. I thought I could ignore it, but I can’t.”</p><p>Hux rolled his eyes. “Please. Do you <em>have</em> to be so… adolescent about it? We had sex. It was perfectly pleasant, despite the fact it was without my knowledge or consent. But let me be clear about one thing: it didn’t mean anything. And when you decided you wanted to do this, I said yes, because I saw no particular reason to turn down your offer. Once again, it means nothing. Absolutely nothing. Besides…” he shrugged. “I don’t believe you. There was no way in hell that was your first time.”</p><p>Ren frowned. “Why?”</p><p>“Because… well, because virgins don’t fuck like that, Ren!”</p><p>Ren took another step forwards, and Hux was suddenly very aware of the wall right behind him and of the fact he was about to be backed into it, the way things were going. “Like what?” growled Ren, his voice lighting something within Hux, deep inside his belly.</p><p>“Like… oh, for fuck’s sake. Why must you be so difficult? Like... you knew what you were doing. Competently. If you’re looking for praise, you won’t get it from me, Ren, I warn you.”</p><p>“The Force guided me,” said Ren, and he was so close Hux felt like he could feel his body heat. “<em>You</em> told me what to do. Your body, your feelings told me what to do.”</p><p>Hux tried very hard to suppress the shiver that wanted to crawl down his spine. “Absolute rubbish,” he said, hoping his voice didn’t sound as squeaky as it felt.</p><p>Then Ren’s hand went straight to his crotch, and that was embarrassing, because he was painfully, shamefully hard. Ren slammed his other hand heavily against the wall and leaned in even closer, and Hux was suddenly aware that his back was flat against the wall and Ren was taller and much, much bigger than him, and, horrifyingly, this was turning him on, the idea of how strong Ren was, how easily he could overpower Hux, and he felt his cock twitch in Ren’s hand. </p><p>And then Ren fell heavily to his knees, and his mouth was where his hand had been, hot and wet through his clothes, mouthing around his erection with just the slightest hint of teeth, and he shivered.</p><p>“I thought you didn’t know how to do this?” he said weakly, as Ren pushed his trousers down and pulled him out, his hand wonderfully rough and harsh on his sensitive skin. Hux bit his lips.</p><p>“You’re telling what to do,” said Ren, and then his lips were on his cock, his hands on his thighs, and he bent his neck slightly and in one fluid motion, took Hux down to the hilt, down his throat, as though there was no such thing as a gag reflex.</p><p>“Ren!” said Hux in a sort of strangled scream, his hands flying to Ren’s head, although he wasn’t clear whether he wanted to keep him there or pull him off. </p><p>It was just too much, too fast, the warmth of his mouth, the tightness of his <em>throat</em>, for heaven’s sake, and even worse, the unbelievable bastard was finding some way to move his tongue at the same time, stroking the underside of his cock. It was utterly unfair, that’s what it was. Unfair, and Ren was clearly a liar, because even though Hux wasn’t hung like a bantha like Ren, he wasn’t small, either, and no one, no one could deep-throat like that without a lot of practice.</p><p>Ren pulled back, his mouth red, shiny with spit. There was a thread of saliva between Hux’s cock and his chin. “What?” he asked, looking up at Hux.</p><p>“What the… Where did you… How come you can do <em>that</em>?” asked Hux, not at his most coherent. Ren opened his mouth to speak, but Hux spoke faster. “If you say it’s the Force again, Ren, I will hit you, I swear.”</p><p>“What do you want me to say, then?” said Ren, with the most infuriating smirk Hux had ever seen.</p><p>“Nothing. Nothing. Get back to it,” said Hux, and even knowing what was coming, there was no way to stop his knees turning to jelly as Ren took him into his mouth again. He brought his hand to his mouth and bit hard on his knuckles, trying to stop himself from moaning.</p><p>In a way, it was one of the most inexpert blow jobs he’d ever received. There was no teasing, no buildup, no subtlety whatsoever. It was a full-on assault, enthusiasm over experience, as though all that mattered to Ren was to cram as much of Hux’s cock down his throat as he possibly could. He was so utterly focused on his task he didn’t even look up to see the effect he was having on Hux.</p><p>Which was fortunate, because if he’d looked up he would have seen Hux seemed to have developed difficulties breathing, his mouth gaping like a fish, his eyes unfocused, tearing up, a stunned expression on his face. It was completely overwhelming, a bit like being mauled alive like some sort of monstrous beast, if you replaced pain by pleasure.</p><p>Finally Hux managed to regain enough control to pull Ren off of him, his hands tangled deep into that thick black hair.</p><p>Ren looked up, looking none too pleased. “What is it now?” he asked, sounding, of all things, <em>annoyed</em>. As though Hux was distracting him in the middle of a complicated task.</p><p>“Nothing, just… Let me breathe, damn it,” said Hux between clenched teeth.</p><p>“You don’t need to breathe,” said Ren, with absolute certitude. “You’re close. I can feel it.”</p><p>He wasn’t wrong there, but still.</p><p>“You’re doing what I say, Ren, or we stop here,” said Hux in a desperate bid to regain control of the situation.</p><p>Ren just looked at him from underneath his dark eyelashes. “Or,” he said, letting the head of Hux’s cock hit his lips, just once, “you could fuck my mouth.”</p><p>Hux shut his eyes tightly. The only possible explanation was that Ren was using some sort of magic trick on him, because it was impossible, physiologically impossible that someone’s <em>voice</em> could have this effect on him. It had taken him all his will not to come, right there, all over Ren’s stupid face.</p><p>“I could do that,” he agreed.</p><p>He put his hands flat on each side of Ren’s face, and opened his eyes cautiously. Ren was staring into his face intensely, as though trying to fix every detail of Hux’s expression in his mind. His mouth was open, lips obscenely swollen and red, his tongue shiny with spit.</p><p>Hux had one chance, now, to gain the upper hand. Hard, much too hard, one could say, he thrust into that waiting mouth, as deep as he would go, not caring if it hurt Ren, not caring if it choked him.</p><p>It did not. Ren made a sound in the back of his throat, a deep rumble Hux actually felt vibrating through him, and just took it. Worse, he met each one of Hux’s thrust with enthusiastic movements of his own, bobbing his head just right, as though he didn’t even mind. As though he was enjoying it, in fact.</p><p>And of course, it was remarkably effective, and it took an embarrassingly short time for him to come down Ren’s throat, his hands clenched hard in his hair, holding on for dear life.</p><p>Ren pushed himself off him and stood up, licking his lips with an infuriatingly satisfied expression. Hux leant on the wall, breathing heavily, trying to come back to his senses. </p><p>Ren was staring at him with a hunger that was palpable. “I want to fuck you now,” he with utter determination, as though it broached no appeal.</p><p>Hux held out a finger in front of him in a warning gesture. “That,” he said, between gulps of air, “was not what we agreed on.”</p><p>Ren shook his head once. He was very, very close, looming over Hux. “I don’t care. I want to.”</p><p>“I said yes to a blow-job,” said Hux feebly. “That’s all.”</p><p>Ren’s eyes were so intense it burned. “You’re not saying no.”</p><p>“Yes, but…” Hux put a hand on Ren’s chest, fully intending to push him away, but the skin on his tight, bulging muscles was so warm, even through his shirt, that he forgot what he was doing and just left his hand there. “I’m thinking, alright?”</p><p>And then the great oaf was suddenly slipping his arms around him and he was <em>lifting</em> Hux as though he weighed nothing, carrying him bridal style, something that hadn’t happened to him since he was a kriffing <em>infant</em>, and Hux was too shocked to even protest.</p><p>“You can think on your bed,” said Ren, before crossing the room and dropping him unceremoniously onto his mattress.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The taste of Hux’s come was bitter in his mouth, stinging against his sore throat, and Kylo Ren really couldn’t care less. The burn was welcome, in fact, reminding him of how he’d felt to have Hux’s cock in his mouth. Of how it had been even better than what he’d imagined.</p><p>He didn't know why he’d ever hesitated. This, this was he wanted, it felt right, it felt good, and he was allowed to take what he wanted, wasn’t he?</p><p>He could almost still feel Hux’s hands in his hair still, how they’d tensed at the end, nails digging painfully into his scalp. And now Hux’s palm was on him, burning like a brand, and he only knew one thing.  He had to have him, now, or he would die. He would kill something. He would kill himself.</p><p>And Hux… wasn’t saying yes, but he wasn’t saying no, that was the important thing. That was all that mattered. </p><p>They were in the wrong place, though. He needed Hux on the bed, he needed him undressed, he needed to be inside him, now. He let his feelings push him forward, his body act by itself, following the flow of the Force without any thought just as he did when he was fighting.</p><p>And a second later, Hux was on the bed, looking shocked, but he still wasn’t saying no, even though he was protesting vaguely for the sake of it. And when Ren’s hands went to take off the rest of his clothes, Hux’s hands were on him suddenly as well, undressing him with just as much passion as Ren was undressing him, carelessly pulling at his clothes until he was naked. Until they both were naked, in fact, and Kylo could have <em>purred</em> with how right this felt, Hux pale and naked, finally, just like he’d been in his thoughts these past weeks, Hux finally touchable, finally his. He pushed Hux down until he was flat on his back, because this time he wanted to look into his face as he fucked him, and he hooked one hand under one of Hux’s legs to push his knee up, spreading his thighs wide open, revealing the pretty pink of his hole, and this was it, finally he was going to be able to be inside Hux again, just as he’d wanted, and he was so hard he was leaking, and he was pressing himself against Hux and...</p><p>Hux slapped him. “Are you fucking insane, Ren?” he yelled, pushing Kylo off him.</p><p>Kylo blinked in confusion, feeling like he’d suddenly been drenched in ice-cold water, like he’d been jolted out of the most wonderful dream. He didn’t understand. Hux had been just as eager as he was. He’d felt it. </p><p>“Why did you do that?” he asked, feeling oddly hurt.</p><p>“Why did I…” Hux’s face was turning red. “You utter moron, I… I’m certainly not taking that <em>thing</em> dry and without a healthy amount of preparation!” he said, pointing to Kylo’s erection.</p><p>He looked down at his own erection for a second, stupidly. “Why?” he asked, an embarrassing whine in the back of his voice.</p><p>Hux blanched, going from scarlet to bone-white in an instant. “Do you mean to tell me, you fucking idiot, that you actually <em>are</em> a kriffing virgin?”</p><p>“I was. I’m not anymore.”</p><p>Hux buried his face into his hands. “I can’t fucking believe this.”</p><p>“Why did you stop me? I know you wanted me. I could feel it. The Force was guiding me.”</p><p>Hux looked up at him, furious. “Well, you stupid overgrown cretin, the Force failed to mention people require lube to do this, for one thing.”</p><p>“Oh.” Of course. That made sense. That night, in the club, lube had definitely been involved. He hadn’t really thought about it in the heat of the moment. He bit his lip. He could feel his own ears redden in embarrassment. </p><p>Part of him just wanted to leave, run away, forget any of this ever happened. He didn’t like not knowing what he should do. He didn’t like feeling like a child in front of Hux. It was humiliating and unpleasant. He could just get up, get dressed, and never think about this again.</p><p>But that would be beneath him. Kylo Ren didn’t run away.</p><p>Also, he’d only just noticed Hux had freckles on his chest too, as well as a light dusting of fine, golden hair, and for some reason he couldn’t tear his eyes away from that, or from the delicate pink nipples he hadn’t even seen the first time.</p><p>He took a deep breath. “So. Do you have some?” he asked. “Lube, I mean.”</p><p>Hux sighed. “I <em>know</em> what you meant. What else could you possibly mean? You’re unbelievable. Yes, I do have lube, I’m not twelve. But... I’m starting to rethink this. Clearly, you have no idea what you’re doing.”</p><p><em>No. Nononono.</em> That was not acceptable. He absolutely had to have Hux, and now. It felt like the most important thing in the universe at that particular moment.</p><p>“Tell me, then,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt. “Tell me, and I’ll do it.”</p><p>Hux looked as though he was hesitating, and for a second, Kylo’s heart sank. And then Hux picked himself up, opened a drawer near the head of his bed, and pulled a small container. He slammed angrily into Kylo’s hand. “There. Lube,” he said. “I trust you know what to do with this?”</p><p>Ren looked at the container, with its push-down pump. He should… put it on Hux, probably? Or on himself? The Force was silent there, unconcerned with these kinds of detail.</p><p>“You don’t, do you?” sighed Hux. “Fine. You need to put some of this on me. In me. And on yourself. A generous amount, Ren, if you please.” Hux pinched the bridge of his nose again, looking as though he couldn't quite believe he was saying that. “And you have to, uh, open me up.”</p><p>Kylo frowned. “You were pretty open last time.”</p><p>Hux’s cheekbones turned pink again. “For fuck’s sake, I will throw you out if you keep being this dim. Last time, you weren’t the first that night, were you? Just… use your fingers. Figure it out.”</p><p>Hux laid back down on the bed with a huff, his eyes stormy. Between his legs, however, his cock was starting to plump up again against the nest of shockingly red curls.</p><p>Kylo coated his fingers with the slippery gel. It was obvious, now, how that would help. He reached down between Hux’s legs, letting his fingers brush against his hole, getting a feel for it. He should probably be looking at what he was doing, but it was hard to tear his eyes away from Hux’s face. The general was looking at him warily, as though he didn’t quite trust him, but his legs were open, and surely that was a good sign.</p><p>Kylo rubbed his fingers around the puckered flesh, marveling at how different it felt from last time, tight and tense when it had been soft and open. Hux had probably been right. There was no way he was ever going to fit in there like this. He didn’t even understand how he’d ever managed to fit, if he was honest about it. He pushed a finger inside, and it was tight, so tight it felt like his finger would get crushed.</p><p>Hux hissed. “Go slow, you oaf.”</p><p>“It’s only a finger,” said Kylo. </p><p>“Well, firstly, you have very large hands, and secondly…”</p><p>But Kylo did not want to take this slow, not at all. He pulled his hand back and plunged back in, with two fingers this time, twisting them so they went it more easily, until they were buried into Hux to the hilt.</p><p>“Ren!” yelped Hux, but then he fell silent, his eyes growing wide as the pad of Ren’s finger found that spot in him that he’d liked so much before and rubbed.</p><p>Now everything seemed to make sense again. Hux’s need was reaching for him through the Force, and it was easy to follow. He thrust with his fingers, careful to brush past that spot every time, until Hux was arching his back, biting his lips to stop himself from moaning. The tight ring of muscle around his fingers relaxed, making it much easier for him to move his hand, and the lube made a wet, squelching sound that was the most obscene thing he’d ever hear and at the same time the most delectable.</p><p>He pushed his fingers in as far as they would go, and Hux’s breath hitched.</p><p>“<em>Now</em> can I fuck you?” Kylo asked impatiently.</p><p>“I… No, I really don’t think so. Try another finger?”</p><p>“For someone who apparently does this a lot, you seem overly cautious, general,” he growled, but he pulled his hand out to add more lube to his fingers. Twisting his hand, he managed to stuff three fingers into Hux’s tight, clenching heat. This had better not last much longer, because he really didn’t feel like waiting anymore.</p><p>“It’s not my fault you’re… extremely well-endowed,” huffed Hux. “Do you think everyone has a giant cock like you do, Ren?”</p><p>“I’d never really thought about it,” he said truthfully.</p><p>Hux glared at him. “I don’t mean this as any kind of compliment. I hope you realise that. It’s a simple statement of fact. I would just rather not be torn in half, if you don’t mind.”</p><p>“I won’t hurt you,” said Kylo, and he knew this to be true, with utter certainty. He pulled his hand out, wiping it carelessly on Hux’s pristine bedspread, and coated his cock with lube. He felt so aroused his erection was almost painful to touch. He pushed Hux’s legs up, forcing him open, and pushed against him, the head of his cock slowly forcing its way in.</p><p>“No, Ren, wait, don’t…” babbled Hux, and then he fell silent and his head fell back heavily. “Holy kriffing hell,” he breathed, as Kylo pushed himself until he was deep inside.</p><p>“I told you I wouldn’t hurt you.”</p><p>“Well, excuse me for not trusting you,” Hux snapped back, but there was a breathy quality to his voice that took most of the sting away.</p><p>“Are you done complaining now?” asked Kylo, pulling out just a little.</p><p>“First of all, how dare you…” started Hux, before stopping abruptly as Kylo snapped his hips forward. “Holy <em>kriffing</em> hell.”</p><p>“Yes, you’ve said that before, general,” said Kylo, smirking. He could get used to this way of shutting Hux up.</p><p>“Don’t look so smug, Ren,” panted Hux, as Kylo thrust again and again into that delicious tight heat. “It doesn’t suit you.”</p><p>“You’re in no position to complain, general,” growled Kylo.</p><p>“I swear to you, I will… ah!.. I will <em>kill</em> you when this is over.”</p><p>“You will do no such thing,” said Kylo, and he pulled out of Hux of a second, pushing him onto his side so he could slot himself against his back, holding one of his legs up with a hand under his knee, and yes, at that angle, he could thrust even deeper, and even though he couldn’t see Hux’s face as clearly any more, his shoulder was just in reach of Kylo’s mouth, and he pressed his lips to that freckled white skin, licking the sweat off Hux’s skin.</p><p>Hux had stopped complaining now. The only sounds he was making were delicious little gasps and moans, with a few strangled “Ren!” thrown in the mix, and the silence was wonderful, letting him concentrate on the sensations, on how wonderful Hux felt around him, in his arms, held tight against him. He was barely moving now, just rocking back and forth gently, the friction on his cock utterly amazing, his mouth at the nape of Hux’s neck, breathing in the scent of his hair.</p><p>And then he felt Hux tense in his arms, and shudder, and clench around him with a small, high pitched moan, and the idea of Hux reaching orgasm because of him again was just too much, and he was coming inside Hux, biting down hard on Hux’s shoulder.</p><p>He tried to catch his breath. His body shook with aftershocks as it never had before. He never wanted to leave, never wanted to pull out, never wanted to let Hux go. He kissed the red bite mark on Hux’s shoulder tenderly.</p><p>“I can’t believe you bit me,” grumbled Hux.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” said Kylo, not feeling in the least bit sorry. He felt wonderful, in fact. He’d never felt better. And everything was clear, now. Everything made perfect sense. He nuzzled against Hux’s back, smiling happily to himself</p><p>“Get out of me, you oaf, I need to go clean myself,” said Hux.</p><p>“No. M’not letting you go,” said Kylo, squeezing Hux against him. He was starting to feel sleepy. “You’re mine.”</p><p>“Certainly not.” Hux wriggled uselessly, trying to free himself. “Get off me this instant, Ren!”</p><p>“No.” He kissed the back of Hux’s ear. “Never. I want to be with you like this forever. I love you.”<br/>
And at that second, it was perfectly true. It made perfect sense. He just wondered why he hadn’t seen it before, Hux was the most wonderful person in the world, so why wouldn’t he love him? True, up until now, he’d thought of Hux as one of the most irritating people he’d ever met, but he’d only been confused. He had always been terrible at understanding his own emotions, that was a fault of his.</p><p>“You <em>what</em>?” said Hux, trying to twist himself back to look at Ren. </p><p>“I love you,” Kylo repeated confidently, and kissed Hux’s cheek.</p><p>“Look, you stupid child, of course you don’t love me. And stop doing that, for fuck’s sake, I hate being kissed.”</p><p>Kylo recoiled, wounded, and Hux used the opportunity to slip out of his arms.</p><p>“”It’s just the sex talking. Give yourself half an hour and you’ll be back to normal, you’ll see.” Hux got up and stretched. “I’m going to have a shower, and when I come out, you’ll be gone.”</p><p>“No!” Kylo sat up and quickly caught one of Hux’s wrists in his hand. “No. Don’t go.”</p><p>“Ren, for the last time…”</p><p>“At least promise me one thing.”</p><p>“What?” sighed Hux impatiently.</p><p>“No one else. No one else touches you. Or I’ll go mad.</p><p>

“You’re an idiot.”</p><p>He tightened his grip on Hux’s arm. “Promise me.”</p><p>“You’re hurting me,” said Hux flatly.</p><p>Kylo let go of Hux’s wrist, ashamed at how red it was. “I’m sorry. I… I feel like I’ll die if someone else touches you. Please. I’ll do whatever you want.”</p><p>“I sincerely doubt that. As soon as you stop thinking with your dick, you’ll go back to doing exactly what you want no matter the consequences, like you always do.” He sighed  ruefully. “Besides, it’s pretty much a moot point, at least on board. I make it a policy never to sleep with subordinates.”</p><p>“So I’m the only one, then. No one else gets you. You’re mine.”</p><p>Hux rolled his eyes. “Do you have to be so melodramatic? Of course not, you imbecile. I’ll do what I damn well please, and you won’t have a say in it. What do you think this was, exactly? Nothing. Just stress relief. And I’m starting to regret it, to be frank.”</p><p>“Don’t say that,” snapped Kylo back. He was starting to get angry again. Good. It was certainly more comfortable that the sudden wave of unnamed emotion that had just possessed him. “I know you wanted this just as much as I wanted it.”</p><p>“<em>You</em> wanted it. I merely acquiesced, out of curiosity. And it turns out you’re as unbearable in bed as out of it. Get out of my room, Ren.”</p><p>“I know you wanted it,” Kylo repeated. “And you’ll want me again.”</p><p>Hux laughed. “Are you mad? No. Of course not. Why should I want you? Because you fucked me without my consent? Because you keep standing in the way of everything I try to do? Because you’re an insufferable arrogant brat with no self control? You’re useless, Ren.”</p><p>“That’s not what you were saying when I was inside you,” said Kylo between clenched teeth.</p><p>“Well, your cock is the only part of you that has any worth. It’s a shame it comes attached to you, that’s all,” said Hux viciously.</p><p>Kylo wanted to say something back, something just as crushing, just as devastating, but nothing would come. And, horrifyingly, his eyes were stinging with tears.</p><p>“You’re wrong,” he said, as Hux turned on his heels and strode, naked and furious, to his bathroom. “You’ll see. You’ll want me again.”</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The man - Bjern? Bjarm? He’d mentioned it at some point, but honestly Hux couldn’t remember his own name right now, so forgive him for not being able to call to mind the name of this slightly-more-attractive-than-average dark haired… freight pilot? Was that what he’d said? Something like that. Hux hadn’t paid much attention - The man looked into his empty glass and sighed. “Look, ginger, let me be honest with you, I was sort of looking for something uncomplicated tonight.”</p><p>“Dsn’t have to be complicated,” said Hux, only marginally slurring his words. “S’not complicated at all, actually. S’exactly what I wanted to make very clear. Nothing’s wrong. Let’s go have sex somewhere now, okay? S’just what I need and you’ll do pefect… perfet… you’ll do very well.”</p><p>“Well, as enticing as that was, that’s a no from me, ginger. Sorry,” said Bjern/Bjarm. He tried to get up, but Hux clamped his hand down on his arm. </p><p>Somehow that had hurt Hux’s feelings. He wasn’t used to rejection. And stupidly, improbably, his fucking eyes were stinging, all over the fact that Bjern/Bjarm didn’t feel like fucking him in a back alley behind a dingy bar in a shitty astroport in the back end of the galaxy. “But why?” he asked, fully aware of the unattractive whine in the back of his voice.</p><p>“Listen, ginger, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but you have some issues. Big issues. Way beyond my pay grade, especially in the context of a random hookup, ya know? And okay, you’re cute, but….”</p><p>“You think I’m cute?” said Hux, suddenly absurdly touched. “You’re sweet. M’not cute. M’an asshole to everyone. ‘Specially recently. Even Phasma says so. Even Dopheld’s avoiding me.” Hux shook his finger to emphasise the point, which he shouldn’t have done, because it upset his already precarious balance and his arm slipped a little on the table and hit his glass. It didn’t matter, though, the stupid thing was empty. “And that <em>asshole</em>. Haven’t seen him in weeks. See? Proves my point.”</p><p>Bjern/Bjarm sighed. “You talking about that guy again, aren’t you? Ray, or whatever?”</p><p>“Not Ray. There’s no Ray. Ren.” He took a deep breath. “Ren. And you see, the thing with Ren, see…” He paused. “Have I told you about him?”</p><p>Bjern/Bjarm nodded wearily. “Yes. Many, many times already. And speaking of that, just a general tip, in future, when you’re trying to pick up some guy, it’s also probably best not to spend half an hour talking about your ex’s dick, ya know?”</p><p>“He’s not my ex,” said Hux indignantly. “Anyway. The problem is. He just. He held me. He <em>kissed</em> me. Worse than that. He said he loved me, like an incredible giant idiot.”</p><p>Bjern/Bjarm sighed deeply. “And that’s a problem because?”</p><p>“S’bullshit, is what it is. M’not lovable. No one loves me. Well, Dopheld thinks he does, but he’s deluded. M’just not nice enough. S’just my nature, I think. M’fundatel… <em>fundamentally</em> unlovable. Too…” Hux gestured vaguely. “You know. Controlling. Uptight. No one likes that. I mean…” Hux looked up into Bjern/Bjarm’s eyes pleadingly. “Do I look lovable to you, Bje...arm?”</p><p>Bjern/Bjarm sighed. “My name is Bjarem, actually.”</p><p>Hux waved a hand in the air. “Yeah, yeah. Who cares?”</p><p>“Well, oddly enough,” said Bjarem, “I do. And you know what? I came here to have a drink and maybe pick up someone if I felt like it and now I’ve spent way too long listening to you whine about how you threw out your ex over I’m not sure what, and honestly, I kind of regret coming here at all.”</p><p>“Really?” Hux considered the situation. Even in his extremely inebriated state, he had to concede that the man probably had some cause. “Fine. Let me make it up to you,” he said brightly. “Let’s see…. Could I interest you in some angry sex? You know, against a wall somewhere? Teach me a lesson, sort of thing?”</p><p>“No, I…” The man paused. “Actually,” he said, sounding as though he was considering the offer, “why the fuck not. At least that way maybe you’ll shut up about your boyfriend. Come on, ginger.”</p>
<hr/><p>Hux wasn’t sure how he got there, or in fact, where he was at all.</p><p>He was sure of two things: one, there was a particularly pointy brick jutting out of the wall that was digging into his back unpleasantly just between his shoulder blades, and two, Bjarem was clearly way too nice to give him what he needed.</p><p>It had started promisingly enough, with him being dragged out and, yes, shoved hard against a wall, wrists held above his head, and for a while Hux had felt hopeful that this would work, that it would finally give him the release he was looking for, the rush he desperately needed, but no. Despite his large frame and how irritated Hux had apparently made him earlier, the man was clearly constitutionally incapable of treating his partner roughly. He was holding Hux up with gentle hands, as though he were breakable, fucking him with slow, shallow thrusts that, though not unpleasant, were so far from what he wanted that it was… well, a little boring, to be frank.</p><p>No matter. He’d had worse. And he needed this. It was just a matter of adjusting certain parameters. Feasible. If he concentrated hard enough (which was easier said than done, given how drunk he was,) he could easily imagine the person pushing him into the wall was - well, subtly different.</p><p>Taller, for one thing. Hair just as black, but longer, and less curly. Definitely bigger below the waist. And much, much more forceful, with huge powerful hands that would hold his wrists so tight it would hurt, and despite that, Hux would struggle, just to feel the burn of it, and…</p><p>This was usually where he stopped. He was very careful with himself. Yes, a lot of his fantasies tended to involve very tall, very strong men, lately, and yes, a lot of them seemed, oddly enough, to have long messy dark hair. But he always stopped short of giving this fantasy a face.</p><p>Or, much worse, a <em>name</em>.</p><p>It was very dangerous. There was a limit he could not cross, or he’d have to ask himself some very uncomfortable questions he didn’t want to answer. </p><p>And much worse than that, it would prove that idiot right. It would prove that he actually did want him, even if it was just in the privacy of his own mind, and that was just as bad as crawling back to him on his hands and knees and begging for forgiveness. He wouldn’t, ever, admit that there was the slightest possibility that yes, he might possibly want Kylo Ren.</p><p>And yet, whispered his drink-addled mind, and yet, where was the harm in indulging, in letting his mind picture who he actually wanted there, just this one time? After all, this was the middle of nowhere, virtually no one knew he was off-ship, and Ren was off somewhere on one of his little mystic escapades, half-way across the galaxy.</p><p>He smiled to himself. So… he was being held up against a wall, but it was Ren doing it. Ren’s huge hands on his hips, holding him up effortlessly, digging into his skin, hard enough to bruise. Ren’s cock inside him, splitting him open, driving him up with each thrust. Ren’s mouth on his neck, burning hot, alternatively sucking on his skin and biting him, marking him so everyone could see who he belonged to.</p><p>His mouth on his, softer now, his tongue in Hux’s mouth, tasting him, exploring…</p><p>Hux made a little broken mewling sound at the thought and Bjarem, poor thing, thinking it was something he’d done right, redoubled his rather ineffective efforts, clearly close to release.</p><p>And then suddenly something hit him, enormous and powerful, like a soundless bolt of thunder, ripping him away from Bjarem and slamming him against the opposing wall, hard enough that Hux collapsed to his knees. He curled up on himself, concentrating on getting his breathing back through the shock and haze. He could hear nothing at first but a buzzing and blood rushing into his ears, could see nothing but the square foot of dirt his eyes were fixed on. It was impossible to move.</p><p>Then he heard footsteps, boots against the dirt, slow and heavy, and the swish of a cape. He tried, desperately, to get up, to crawl away, but whatever was holding him down was not letting him.</p><p>The boots stopped close to him, inches away. And Hux knew those boots. Knew that cape. He shivered, a strange feeling halfway between dread and excitement rising within him.</p><p>“There are limits, general,” said Kylo Ren, his voice glacial despite the absence of his vocoder. “There are limits to what I can bear.”</p><p>Hux felt himself being dragged to his feet, held up by something invisible that pressed against him. He tried to look away, anywhere but into these deep brown eyes, but that something - the Force, since that was clearly what that was - was under his chin now, like a hand, pushing his face up ineluctably.</p><p>Hux’s eyes met Ren’s, and he gasped. He had never once seen Ren so incandescent with rage. A shiver ran down Hux’s spine.</p><p>“I can bear your pettiness. I can bear your efforts to undermine and ridicule me at every turn. I can even...” Ren took another step forward, until his face was so close Hux could feel his breath on his skin “bear you throwing me out of your bedroom. But I will not stand by, general, while you fantasise about kissing me while being fucked by some pathetic idiot.”</p><p>Hux’s mouth worked, while he tried to think of something. There was a lot he could say. That Ren had no business being here and intruding in his thoughts, for one. That there was no possible way this was a random encounter, which meant Ren had been looking for him, spying on him, perhaps. That even if Ren had seen something in his mind, it did not give him the right to meddle in Hux’s affairs, and that poor Bjarem clearly deserved better than being thrown to the ground and insulted after the patience he’d shown - if indeed, the poor man was even still alive after whatever that burst of power had been.</p><p>But for once, the words would not come, and instead, he felt himself lean forward against the power holding him, slowly moving closer and closer to Ren, and Ren was letting him, eyes dark and suspicious bright until the moment Hux’s lips finally brushed Ren’s.</p><p>And then he felt the force holding him suddenly let go, and he was being embraced by those large powerful arms, and Ren was kissing him back fiercely, inexpertly, his mouth burning-hot, all teeth and tongue and yet indescribably perfect, in every possible way.</p><p>Then Ren pulled back, breaking the kiss, and glared at him. “You are the most infuriating being in the galaxy,” he said</p><p>“Yes,” said Hux, nodding.</p><p>“I should strangle you where you stand.”</p><p>“Probably.”</p><p>“You’re also drunk, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Very,” agreed Hux.</p><p>Ren sighed impatiently. “I should bring you back on board. This is not a conversation we should…”</p><p>“No!” interrupted Hux. “No, no, don’t do that.” He grabbed on to Ren, clutching his arms hard.</p><p>“You’re in no state to talk. You’re drunk, you’re half naked, you’re…” </p><p>“Yes, I know. Shut up, you moron, this is important.” Hux took a deep breath. But now, suddenly, he wasn’t sure how to explain himself anymore. “I… don’t want to be not-drunk,” he started, his words slightly slurred in his hurry to get them out. “I don’t want to be myself. Rational. I don’t want to be sober and have to think about things and how this is a bad idea and how vulnerable it would make me, to have this with you, and how you’ll find some way to use it against me. I just… I just I don’t want to be <em>me</em>. Because… if I’m me, then I can’t do this,” he said, and he pulled Ren down again, months of denial and stubbornness finally crashing down on him as he kissed Ren again and again, small, desperate hungry kisses, and he’d never kissed anyone like this in his life, he hated kissing but Ren was… Ren was Ren, and felt right, and he had to make him understand.</p><p>He felt himself be pushed away gently. “Hux…” said Ren, his voice hoarse with need. “Don’t. You’ll regret this.”</p><p>Hux shook his head. “No,” he said. “No. Don’t do this. Don’t pick now, of all moments, to be all noble and honorable. Just… Look. Look inside me, Ren. Please,” Hux pleaded. “I want you to. I want you to know.”</p><p>Ren made a strange growling sound and then the pressure of the Force was back, not on Hux’s body this time, but in his <em>mind</em>. Hux’s eyes flew wide as he realised that every time he’d felt Ren in his head before, it had been nothing, the barest shadow of his real power. Because now Ren was inside him, inside every part of his being, and it felt utterly terrifying, and like he was being crushed to death inside his own mind, and at the same time, blessedly, gloriously liberating. He could feel Ren, inside his mind as though it were a place, and he could feel himself in there as well (and that made no sense, how could Hux be inside his own mind, nothing about this made sense.) And it felt as though he was guiding Ren, somehow, as though he was taking him by the hand and showing him around. </p><p>See, this is me. This is who I am. It’s full of faults, of cracks. It has been broken, many times, and poorly mended. Yet somehow it’s still there. From the outside it looks strong, but inside it’s all broken shards of glass that rattle when you shake them too hard and make you bleed if you try to hold them.</p><p>This is me, and it’s a mess, and it’s full of fear, and there shouldn’t be any room for you in there, because you’re dangerous and you could tear it all apart, all this fake-strength of mine, this pretend-courage, you could strip me of all that and I don’t even know if there’s anything left behind all that. But look there. There’s a hole in there, there’s a lack, an absence, and you made that. You created a void in me and now you’re the only one who can fill it. There’s a Ren-shaped need that nothing else can replace and that aches because I can’t have you, not really. You’ll change your mind, you’ll leave, you’ll die, you’ll abandon me like everyone else has, because this is always what happens, because I can’t be loved, not really, not by someone who sees me for what I really am. And this Ren-shaped thing will become a gaping wound and it’ll bleed, and I’ll die from it. I won’t be able to stand it and I’ll die. And you have to understand what I’m showing you, you have to, because I’ll never be able to say any of this with words.</p><p>It felt like he was shouting. Shouting inside his own mind, shouting at the Ren that was inside him, no longer crushing him but just there, cautiously watching. Looking. Hux was not sure Ren was even seeing what Hux wanted him to see, he wasn’t sure how he could even tell, in this not-space of his mind. He didn’t even know how he knew Ren was still here, now that the pain was gone. Yet somehow, he knew. </p><p>And then something shifted, inside him, the Ren inside him <em>moved</em>, and suddenly Ren was <em>around</em> instead of inside, he was holding the me-Hux that somehow existed within Hux’s mind, curling around him like mist, like a thing with tentacles, like arms and desire and kisses and love, and it was too much, too sweet, an unbearable tenderness and understanding so total it was overwhelming and Hux’s mind shorted out. </p><p>The world went to black.</p>
<hr/><p>He woke up in his own bed, on board the Finalizer. It could be nowhere else. Everything, from the feel of his clean bed sheets to the scent of the recycled air with its barely perceptible tang of ozone, was utterly familiar. The room was quiet, so quiet he could hear his own breathing and the slight vibration of the sublight engines, the soft hum of the air exchange system. The light had been turned low, almost to the minimum, a comforting golden glow that barely reached the walls and made the room feel larger than it actually was. </p><p>Although he was lying on top of the bed sheets, he was half covered by the soft blanket he kept in his closet for when he really needed comfort. It was old and unattractive, the white gone a kind of dirty grey. Hux had it with him when he left for the Academy and somehow he never got rid of it.</p><p>And he was undressed. Well, almost. He was down to his white sleeveless undershirt and boxers, and with a jolt he realised those weren’t the clothes he was wearing earlier. This was what he usually wore under his uniform, and obviously he wasn’t trawling for a cheap fuck in the middle of nowhere in full First Order regalia. Besides, he felt pretty sure that what with one thing and the other, those clothes, and especially his underwear, had been utterly ruined, and these ones  felt clean and fresh. All of him, in fact, felt suspiciously fresh and clean, when it should by all rights have felt sticky and used. He slipped an exploratory hand around the relevant areas, gave it a ginger sniff. Sure enough, he smelled of hygienic wipes - the nice ones, the ones that are part of the officers’ kits, for those times when showers are few and far between.</p><p>The door made a soft sound, sliding almost soundlessly into the wall. Reflexively, Hux shut his eyes, pretending to still be asleep.</p><p>“I know you’re awake, Hux. Stop faking.” The low, dark hum of Ren’s voice sent a shiver down Hux’s spine. “Here. You should drink this.”</p><p>Reluctantly, Hux sat up in bed, eyes fixed on the bed sheets. A glass appeared in his peripheral vision and he took it, studiously avoiding looking up. The water, pure and cold, felt like heaven, and he realised how parched he was, like he could drain a full tank of water. His inebriation seemed, on the other hand, to have completely disappeared.</p><p>He felt the bed shift under him as Ren sat down next to him, and yet still he wouldn’t, couldn’t possibly look up. What he’d done… he’d basically given himself to Ren, entirely, in a way more intimate than he’d ever imagined possible. Now that his mind had cleared, the enormity of what had happened was crushing him, filling his mind with fear, with doubt.</p><p>“Hux…” said Ren. He sounded oddly unsure himself, as though he were the one who’d bared his soul stupidly, recklessly, trusting an impulsive man-child with his very soul like a kriffing idiot. “Hux, look at me, please.”</p><p>With petulant stubbornness, Hux didn’t. </p><p>“Look at me,” Ren said again, and this time his hand cupped Hux’s chin, warm and rough with calluses, and Hux looked up, helplessly, into Ren’s huge, dark eyes. His heart skipped a beat, and for a second, he forgot everything.</p><p>He forgot how to breathe.</p><p>Then Ren’s lips were on his, so soft it was unlike anything they’d ever done before, and Hux’s eyes, horrifyingly, were stinging, tears already spilling at the corner of his eyes uncontrollably.</p><p>“Don’t cry, please, Hux,” said Ren, in between heartbreakingly soft kisses. “Please don’t cry. It’s alright. Everything is alright, I swear.”</p><p>It’s not, Hux wanted to shout. Of course it’s not, you great big idiot. It’s a disaster, that’s what it is. Now I have no way out. Now I’ve given myself no other choice than to trust you, and I don’t even know how to trust someone anymore.</p><p>“Listen. Listen, Hux, the way you feel… I’m like that, too. I’m full of scars, full of sadness, anger, and I thought I could never let anyone see it, ever. And I wish I could just show you, the way you showed me, but this is not how it works. You’ll just have to trust me.”</p><p>That’s the whole problem, though, can’t you see? How can I possibly trust you, of all people, your impulsive, irrational walking disaster, how can I possibly trust you when you’ve seen my heart and I don’t know yours, when I’ve given you the ammunition to hurt me, to destroy me?</p><p>“I can’t promise I’ll never hurt you,” said Ren, as though answering his thoughts (which of course he was, the mind-reading freak.) “I’m clumsy. I hurt people when I don’t mean to, sometimes. But… I promise you that’s not what I want. I don’t want you to be in pain. I want you to be mine, Hux. I told you. I love you.”</p><p>Hux smiled bitterly. “That’s just a thing people say. It doesn’t mean anything.”</p><p>“Alright. If you say so. But… Hux, it doesn’t have to be so complicated. I want you. You want me. No, don’t start denying it again,” he said, raising a hand just as Hux was about to draw breath to protest. “I can’t keep doing this with you.”</p><p>“So what do you want, then?” said Hux, and he meant it to sound annoyed, like a sommation to explain himself, and instead it came out trembling and insecure.</p><p>“I want to be with you. I want you to let me be with you, that’s all.” Ren closed his eyes and sighed. “Listen, if you absolutely must run around like a cat in heat getting nailed in every sordid back alley in the galaxy, I can probably even live with that. Just as long as you come back to me in the end.”</p><p>Hux sighed. “Ren, you fucking idiot.”</p><p>“What?” frowned Ren. “What did I do wrong now? I swear, Hux, if you throw me out now…”</p><p>“No,” said Hux, and this time he was the one to bridge the gap between them to press his lips to Ren’s, and he felt Ren let out a small, surprised huff of air. “No, this time, I’m not throwing you out.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>uminoarawashi at tumblr.com if you want to chat. I don’t post anything specific, but I’m very open to fic recs or random fandom related musings!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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